Monday, December 1, 2008

Salt in the Wounds....

It doesn't matter how long it's been... things still happen that just make you want to scream, cry, and be angry! I try so hard to remember that people don't mean to be hurtful, that everyone is so caught up in their own stuff that they forget, and some simply don't know our story. Sometimes though, I just want to wear a sign that says "Yes, I have a daughter. She is in heaven. Please don't say anything stupid, thank you very much."

First, I get an ad in the mail from Sears saying "One is Fun! Come celebrate your baby's first year with pictures!"

Then, when I went to register (yes, I finally bit the bullet and did that...) you have to fill out a registration form. Can anyone tell me why they need to have a place on there that asks "Is this your first baby?" Luckily my trusty sister-friend, Jessica, quickly checked yes for me and prevented a breakdown so I didn't have to contemplate what to do.

Then, at my parent teacher conferences, almost every single parent asked, "Is this your first?" I know that people mean well, but really, what am I supposed to say?!! I hate answering yes because it isn't my first baby, and to say that it is denies she was here. However, if you answer no then they will definitely proceed to ask, "Oh! How old is your other child?" or "Do you have a boy or girl at home?" So.. with that you have to tell the story and really most people are not equipped to hear it.

Finally, the icing on the cake.... last night my husband had his awards dinner for the JV team that he coaches. His boss, who definitely knows what happened, came up to me and asked, "Where is the kid tonight?" I must have looked like a dear in headlights when I replied with a shaky,"I am sorry, what did you say?" He then says,"The baby, where is the baby? Don't you have one at home?" "Nope" I replied as I glared at Nick thinking get this man away from me!!! Then he says,"I could have sworn you had a baby at home, but you just have the one on the way? Huh?" I wanted to deck him right then and there. I know he meant no ill will but seriously? This guy works with Nick everyday and he knows what we went through!

So there are just a few examples of a day in the life of an angel mommy.
Fun times, huh?


Carrie said...

what an @$$ - sorry you are having to go through this, it does suck... i cant even imagine... but just think - those people (for the most part) dont know any better - but alot of us do and we love you and are here for you to celebrate Caroline and her baby brother.

love you!

stephanie said...

I'm sorry sweet friend. I hate that you are hurting. Don't you wish there was a thought bubble over your head that tells people your story so they don't ask questions you don't know how to answer. Wish I could give you a big hug.

sweetpeanme said...

I can't believe that happend! I kindof can understand what you mean about conferences. All my parents ask if I have kids and when I'm going to start trying...don't really want to tell them its been almost 3 years! They're like "just enjoy being childless while you can" and that just makes it all hurt worse!
I'm so happy for you two and am keeping you in my prayers!