Friday, December 26, 2008

The Best Presents

Spending time with family...

...and with friends...

...and feeling the baby move! He has really started to squirm these last couple of days! Even my mom and sister- in- law felt him kicking! It has been the best present I could of asked for.

This beautiful cradle was given to us by Nick's grandparents. It was used by Nick, his, sister, and his cousins when they were babies. I can't wait to use it with our little guy!!!

Thursday, December 18, 2008


I am officially PAST 25 weeks!
We made it!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

All I really want for Christmas...

If you haven't heard this song or seen this video... take a few quiet moments (and a few tissues) to watch and listen.

Then you can read Stephen Curtis Chapman's wife's blog here. Amazing!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Happy Sound

We got to hear the baby's heartbeat today! The last 2 appointments it was difficult for the doctor to find and we ended up needing a sono to confirm. Of course that was quite anxiety inducing for me! I prayed the whole way to the appointment that I would get to hear that sweet sound and my prayer was answered! Grow baby grow!!!!
17 more weeks to go! WOOHOO!!! Can't wait to meet you!

Monday, December 1, 2008

Salt in the Wounds....

It doesn't matter how long it's been... things still happen that just make you want to scream, cry, and be angry! I try so hard to remember that people don't mean to be hurtful, that everyone is so caught up in their own stuff that they forget, and some simply don't know our story. Sometimes though, I just want to wear a sign that says "Yes, I have a daughter. She is in heaven. Please don't say anything stupid, thank you very much."

First, I get an ad in the mail from Sears saying "One is Fun! Come celebrate your baby's first year with pictures!"

Then, when I went to register (yes, I finally bit the bullet and did that...) you have to fill out a registration form. Can anyone tell me why they need to have a place on there that asks "Is this your first baby?" Luckily my trusty sister-friend, Jessica, quickly checked yes for me and prevented a breakdown so I didn't have to contemplate what to do.

Then, at my parent teacher conferences, almost every single parent asked, "Is this your first?" I know that people mean well, but really, what am I supposed to say?!! I hate answering yes because it isn't my first baby, and to say that it is denies she was here. However, if you answer no then they will definitely proceed to ask, "Oh! How old is your other child?" or "Do you have a boy or girl at home?" So.. with that you have to tell the story and really most people are not equipped to hear it.

Finally, the icing on the cake.... last night my husband had his awards dinner for the JV team that he coaches. His boss, who definitely knows what happened, came up to me and asked, "Where is the kid tonight?" I must have looked like a dear in headlights when I replied with a shaky,"I am sorry, what did you say?" He then says,"The baby, where is the baby? Don't you have one at home?" "Nope" I replied as I glared at Nick thinking get this man away from me!!! Then he says,"I could have sworn you had a baby at home, but you just have the one on the way? Huh?" I wanted to deck him right then and there. I know he meant no ill will but seriously? This guy works with Nick everyday and he knows what we went through!

So there are just a few examples of a day in the life of an angel mommy.
Fun times, huh?

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

1/2 way there

Today I am 20 weeks pregnant!
Only 20 more to go!
Feeling Blessed!

Friday, November 7, 2008

Your Cross

A young man was at the end of his rope;
seeing no way out, he dropped to his knees in prayer.
"Lord, I can't go on," he said."
I have too heavy a cross to bear."
The Lord replied, "My son, if you can't bear its weight,
just place your cross inside this room.
Then, open that other door and pick out any cross you wish."
The man was filled with relief and said,
"Thank you Lord," and he did as he was told.
Upon entering the other room, he saw many crosses,
some so large the tops were not visible.
Then, he spotted a tiny cross leaning against a far wall.
"I'd like that one, Lord," he whispered.
The Lord replied,"My son, that is the cross you just brought in."
When life's problems seem overwhelming,
it helps to look around and see what other people are coping with.
You may consider yourself far more fortunate than you imagined.
~Author Unknown~

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

It's a..........


This was the best day in a long time!!! Today we found we are having a baby boy!
Our sonogram technician was fabulous and took lots of measurements and great photos for us. I am currently measuring 18 weeks and 5 days, just a little ahead my 'real' timeline of 18 weeks and 0 days. As of today's sonogram, my due date would be 3/27 instead of 4/1. As we all know, this little guy will be coming when he is ready so I am not going to obsess over which date is really my due date. He had a heartbeat of 128BPM and was weighing in at 9 ounces!!! Thank you for your continued prayers and support!!!!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Upcoming Documentary for Broadcast in Canada

Sheona McDonald recently finished a documentary film called "Capturing A Short Life".
It will broadcast on CBC Newsworld, The Lens, on December 9th, 2008 at 10pm.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Couldn't have said it better myself....

My sweet, sweet friend, Emily, sent me this today. Won't you say it with me on Caroline's birthday? More later... Jess

Dear Lord,

I pray you let this day be gentle to Jessica's heart. I pray sweet Caroline be able to look down and see her parents today, on her very first birthday. Oh God, we do not understand your ways... and yet we trust them. We praise you for this beautiful baby girl and the incredible legacy she left behind. We pray you continue to use her life and her story to draw others to you. Oh Lord, be with her baby sister or brother today. Let him or her remind Jessica that hope awaits and it rests in your hand. Thank you, Lord, for Caroline Klug and all she brought to our world.

And thank you, sweet Caroline, for living your life so well and for helping to make your mommy as special as she is. We praise God for you today, Birthday Girl.


Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Live For Today

I have heard this song many times before but tonight it really spoke to my heart!
I loved the song "This little light of mine..." when I was little so I guess this is my grown up version.

Natalie Grant~ Live For Today

Sittin' in my room staring at the wall
Wonderin' about the meaning of it all
Why is it this thing called life
Has got me goin' crazy
So I open up your word and let it speak to me
The purpose and the plan that you've designed
Is clear to see, and I believe

I'm gonna live for today
I'm gonna follow in your way
I'm gonna let my little light shine
Like there's no tomorrow
I won't worry about the past
I know my future is intact
So I'll choose to live my life one way
I'm gonna live it for today

You told me not to worry
About what lies ahead
So I am gonna focus on today instead
Making every moment count and counting
Every single blessing
I'm gonna set my mind on the
Here and the Now
This is what I want my life to be about
And this is How...

I'm gonna live for today
I'm gonna follow in your way
I'm gonna let my little light shine
Like there's no tomorrow
I won't worry about the past
I know my future is intact
So I'll choose to live my life one way
I'm gonna live it for today

Click if you want to hear the song...

Monday, October 20, 2008

Remembrance Ceremony

My mom and I attended a Remembrance Ceremony yesterday at Camp Letts in Edgewater. It was a really beautiful day and quite a touching gathering. The nurse, Ann, that I was blessed with at the hospital facilitated this special day and is truly an angel. She heads up the infant loss program at the hospital and runs a support group. While it was sad to meet so many other 'angel moms' it also was a comforting reminder that we are not in this alone. As Ann says.. although this is a club you never wanted to belong to, once you are in it, you are in it for life. It does help to meet other 'members' of the club.
Here are a few photos from the day... On the way to the ceremony I noticed this truck in front of us had a huge sticker in the upper right hand corner. It said CAROLINE! I tried to snap a picture but we were moving and mom's windshield was a little dirty;)so you cannot really see it. Of course, I had to investigate that I really did see it so here is what I found when I googled it!

As the names of our babies were read, we tossed flowers into the water.
Everyone wrote messages to their babies on these balloons and we released them.
A beautiful day...
"Forever in Our Hearts"
Forever in our hearts
You will always be,
Forever in our hearts
A living memory.
Forever in our hearts
You live eternally,
Forever in our hearts
God's place of destiny.

From the heart of Annie Owen

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Scrapbooking your Loss

I went to a Scrapbooking Weekend this weekend at Black Rock Resort and would highly recommend this place! It is right outside of Lancaster and very relaxing!
My new friend, Lori, shared this website with me and it really helped me with my Scrapbook for Caroline.
Click here.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Woa... Belly!

15 weeks and counting.....

*Please note that I did take this picture after a BIG meal at my Auntie's house! LOL

Monday, October 6, 2008

It's October.....

...and I am anxiously anticpating the day. In 2 1/2 weeks it will be October 23rd, again, the day I delivered my sweet girl, born asleep. As I look back at the past year I realize:
#1 how fast it has gone by
#2 how much of that time I have wished away

I remember those first days after we found out we had 'lost' the baby. They dragged on like years. Finding out on a Friday and not delivering until Monday made for the longest weekend of my life. I wanted to 'fill the time' with anything but tears. When I look back to the months that followed, my mind is in a sense... simply blank. What did I do with all that time? Did Christmas even happen? I think I was in auto-pilot: get up go to work, come home, go to bed, repeat. It saddens me to think that I really haven't enjoyed each day because I have been so anxious for the next one to come.

Then came the months when we were 'allowed' to try again. They seemed to tick by like an eternity as each month would result in a negative pregnancy test. I would think..."Ok, next month hurry up and get here so we can try again!" Once again... I was wishing away my days. When I finally became pregnant again I thought, "Ok this time I will enjoy every moment, each day will be a blessing, and I won't worry about a thing." HA! In reality, I am so anxious about something going wrong that I can hardly enjoy this pregnancy! The appointment count downs began.... I count down the days between each appointment and the days tick by again. As much as I try, really try, to embrace this pregnancy and savor each day... the truth is that I am so impatient for April to arrive that I literally cross the days off of every calendar.

So what is the moral to this story... I don't really know. I cannot change the fact that this is going to be a crappy couple of weeks or that I am a worrier by nature. So what can I change? Well... I need to accept and remember that none of this is in my hands. It is in His.

At our favorite breakfast place this past weekend, I spotted this quote on the wall.
"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present."
I guess I need to pay attention to that and be present in the present.

Saturday, October 4, 2008


So....I had the best time ever at the New Kids show. There is really nothing like a concert full of screaming 30+ year olds screaming for their teenage heart throbs that are now grown men!!!! I think everyone there felt like they were 15 again! It was so much fun and they really put on a great show!

How hilarious is this!?!!? This picture is from 1989!!! I cannot even believe we are wearing fanny packs!

I am pretty sure that Jordan winked at me during the show. LOL

Monday, September 22, 2008

TOO funny not to share

Powerful Women's Motto:
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders & says...

'Oh shit....she's awake!!'

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Old Friends Make the Best Friends

Now that we are all in the 30 (and up) club it makes me realize how long we have been friends, how much we have been through together, and how grateful I am for each of you!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Scrapbooking your Loss

In the SHARE newsletter that I recieved this week I found a wonderful website.
Check it out here. Click on heartspoken vellum quotes. I had searched high and low for appropriate stickers/quotes for scrapbooking and couldn't find any. When I found these it was an answered prayer. It is sad that these even have to exist, but they are beautiful and so appropriate for our babies.

Monday, September 15, 2008

11wks and 6 days

Our appointment today revealed that I am going to be exactly 12 weeks tomorrow according to baby's measurements. That is exactly what I thought/calculated. We could not hear the heartbeat today:( but we did see it on the sonogram along with lots of wiggly movements. It is amazing how much the baby has changed in 4 weeks. Keep praying!!!

Monday, September 8, 2008

Baby Goldman

YIPPEE!!! I am so happy to report that my best friend, Kristen, just became an aunt today. Her sister, Tammy, had a little girl and her name is Mackenzie. She is cute as a button and looks very much like her mommy. Thank God for another answered prayer:)

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Baby Update

First let me say that everything is A-OK... and that this may me TMI for some people.

Wednesday I started noticing some bleeding and of course freaked out!
I called the doctor and was assured that this was normal and unless accompanied by any cramps that I did not need to be worried. HELLO!? Does she know what we've been through? Telling me not to worry is like telling peanut butter not to hang out with jelly. Anyways.... I did worry and when I couldn't get an appointment until next week I decided I would not be able to make it through the long weekend without being a nervous wreck.
So Nick and I went to the ER.
After 5 long hours we were given the following results:
The baby's heartbeat was 166 beats per minute.*
My HCG levels were well over 130,000.(that is good)
The baby measured 8.9 weeks (right on track).
And.. we saw arm and leg buds forming!

So... the moral of the story is better to be safe than sorry and I feel reassured knowing everything is ok. Please keep praying.

(*The old wive's tale says anything over 150 is a girl!!)

Friday, August 22, 2008

Baby Connor

My dear friend Carrie just delivered her baby boy weighing in at 9 lbs 2 oz!
Keep her in your prayers!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

A New Beginning

As my wife takes one last relaxing trip to the beach before yet another school year begins, she wanted me to update her blog with some very exciting news....... WE ARE EXPECTING IN APRIL!! Although I'm not as good as Jessica is with this "blog thing," I'm sure she will have more insight to post when she returns. However, I'm equally elated and relieved as is Jess in finding out the news. As of Wednesday, the baby measured 4.3 centimeters and was exactly 7 weeks old. Thank you all for your continued thoughts and prayers, as God has heard and answered them. ~Nick

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Got Faith?

While searching the internet for prayers for expectant mothers, I came across this magnificent painting: The Prayer of an Expectant Mother (Dmitri Petrov, 2005)

So...tomorrow we go to the doctor's for our first visit. I am praying constantly and feeling the assurance that everything is going to be fine! Of course there is a part of me that is scared too! I will update as soon as I can after the visit, but in the meantime please keep us in prayer!

Heavenly Father, please grant this baby of Nick & Jessica's a full term of nurture,
the joy and mystery of life, and the blessing of your love.
Grant them the fulfillment of their dreams,a baby to cherish and protect, a child to teach and guide, a blessing to their family. I pray that this baby will grow well and live to praise forever Your Holy Name.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Full Circle

I got this as a gift last year for the big 30! It applies again but only for the next 45 minutes because tommorrow is my birthday... We go to the doctor on Wednesday for our first appointment. Keep us in your prayers:)

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

The Tea Cup

This is from the same daily devotional as The Dragonfly one.
I love it!

The Tea Cup

There was a couple who used to go to England to shop in the beautiful stores. They both liked antiques and pottery and especially teacups. This was their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary and the shop they visited had a beautiful teacup. They said to the shop assistant, "May we see that? We've never seen one quite so beautiful." As the lady handed it over to them, the teacup spoke suddenly.

"You don't understand," it said. "I haven't always been a teacup. There was a time when I was red and I was clay. My master took me, rolled me, patted me over and over and I yelled out, 'Let me alone' but he only smiled, 'Not yet.'
"Then I was placed on a spinning wheel," the teacup said,"and suddenly I was spun around. 'Stop it! I'm getting dizzy!' I screamed. But the master only nodded and said, 'Not yet.' Then he put me in the oven. I never felt such heat. I wondered
why he wanted to burn me, and I yelled and knocked at the door. I could see him through the opening and I could read his lips as he shook his head, 'Not yet.'

Finally the door opened, he put me on the shelf, and I began to cool. 'There, that's better', I said. And he brushed and painted me all over. The fumes were horrible. I thought I would gag. 'Stop it, stop it!' I cried. He only nodded, 'Not yet.'
Then suddenly he put me back into the oven, not like the first one. This was twice as hot and I knew I would suffocate. I begged. I pleaded. I screamed. I cried. All the time I could see him through the opening nodding his head saying, 'Not yet.'

Then I knew there wasn't any hope. I would never make it. I was ready to give up. But the door opened and he took me out and placed me on the shelf. One hour later he handed me a mirror and I couldn't believe it was me. 'It's beautiful. I'm beautiful.'

'I want you to remember, then,' he said, 'I know it hurts to be rolled and patted, but if I had left you alone, you would have dried up. I know it made you dizzy to spin around on the wheel, but if I had stopped, you would have crumbled. I knew it hurt and was hot and disagreeable in the oven, but if I hadn't put you there, you would have cracked. I know the fumes were bad when I brushed and painted you all over, but if I hadn't done that, you never would have hardened; you would not have had any color in your life. And if I hadn't put you back in that second oven, you wouldn't survive for very long because the hardness would not have held. Now you are a finished product. You are what I had in mind when I first began with you.

Moral: God knows what He's doing for all of us. He is the
potter and we are His clay. He will mold us so that we may be
made into a flawless piece of work to fulfill His good,
pleasing, and perfect will.

Let this story remind you that God has a perfect plan for your life. He may need to place some obstacles in your life to strengthen your character, so that you may be strong in the days of greater adversity. Don't get discouraged when you feel like
the heat of the struggle is going to burn you. God knows exactly when to pull you out and deliver you from that problem and when He does you will be much wiser and stronger than you were before.

God knows your inner strength and ability to be strong even in the midst of a problem.

~Author Unknown~

Sunday, July 20, 2008

The Dragonfly

The Dragonfly
Once, in a little pond, in the muddy water under the lily pads,there lived a little water beetle in a community of waterbeetles. They lived a simple and comfortable life in the pond with few disturbances and interruptions. Once in a while, sadness would come to the community when one of their fellow beetles would climb the stem of a lily pad and would never be seen again. They knew when this happened; their friend was dead, gone forever. Then, one day, one little water beetle felt an irresistible urge to climb up that stem. However, he was determined that he would not leave forever. He would come back and tell his friends what he had found at the top. When he reached the top and climbed out of the water onto the surface of the lily pad, he was so tired, and the sun felt so warm, that he decided he must take a nap. As he slept, his body changed and when he woke up, he had turned into a beautiful blue-tailed dragonfly with broad wings and a slender body designed for flying. So, fly he did! And, as he soared he saw the beauty of a whole new world and a far superior way of life to what he had never known existed. Then he remembered his beetle friends and how they were thinking by now he was dead. He wanted to go back to tell them, and explain to them that he was now more alive than he had ever been before. His life had been fulfilled rather than ended. But, his new body would not go down into the water. He could not get back to tell his friends the good news. Then he understood that their time would come, when they, too, would know what he now knew. So, he raised his wings and flew off into his joyous new life! ~Author Unknown~

Saturday, July 12, 2008


def.- springing back; rebounding; returning to the original form or position after being bent, compressed, stretched.

This is a story of resilience.
During the Easter season at our church, you could purchase Easter lilies in honor or in memory of a loved one. My mother and father in-law bought one in memory of Caroline. They planted it in our flower bed after bringing it home from church. Although it lost it's blooms, it was flourishing, for a little while anyway. Being that I don't have the greenest thumb, it eventually started to die. It got brown and the leaves began to fall off. So, I yanked it out of the flower bed and tossed it aside, with intentions of later throwing it away. Now it looks like this:

In the last few weeks since I did that look what showed up in its place! Not one, not two, but THREE new plants!

I like how there are 2 bigger blossoms and 1 smaller one. It reminds me that, even if it was for only six months, we were a family of three:)
I think we, people in general, are kinda like that lily. Just when you think you are down and out, conquered, and ready to give up... you bounce back. Thank God for resilience!

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Until We're Together Again

Until We're Together Again
© Katherine J. Cochran (BMI)
Vocal by Tiffany Coburn
To listen to this song click here

Some believe
A star shining brightly in the heavens
Represents the love of someone they can't see
Others feel
The butterfly dancing in their garden
Is a symbol of a spirit flying free

But when a gentle breeze caresses your hair
Or you see an eagle soar in the air
Should you smile and remember me in prayer
Oh, I will be there

There's no need to say good-bye
One day we'll be together
Remember me and smile
I'm in your heart forever
I'll feel the love you send
Until we're together again

Close your eyes
You'll find me sailing in the sunset
Riding waves of bluest oceans ever seen
Holding hands
Of all the others here before me
My head upheld to hear the angels sing

I can do all the things I've always dreamed of
I'll be watching over you from above
Don't worry about me because
I brought along all your love

There's no need to say good-bye
One day we'll be together
Remember me and smile
I'm in your heart forever
I'll feel the love you send
Until we're together again

It doesn't matter where you are
My love will shine upon you from that star
Like the butterfly, now I'm free
Ascending through the sky peacefully

(final chorus)
There's no need to say good-bye
One day we'll be together
Remember me and smile
I'm in your heart forever
I'll feel the love you send
All the love you send
And you hold on to the love I send
Until we're together again

We'll be together again

Saturday, July 5, 2008


I got to meet Amelia tonight! She is just beautiful! Her brother may get to come home tomorrow~yea!

My dear friend, Lauri, delivered twins on July 3rd! Their names are Amelia Ann & Gavin Matthew. Little Gavin will have to stay in the NICU when she is discharged with Amelia tomorrow. Please keep Gavin, and his entire family in your prayers.


Sometimes when I walk into the spare room (what would have been the nursery), I really can imagine baby 'stuff' being in there. Baby cries, sounds, and smells. I know it sounds crazy, but I picture what her room would have been and what she would be doing now.

Somedays (most days now that school is out)I relish in the joy of sleeping in and being lazy on the couch- watching countless episodes of my favorite shows on TLC. But then...I wish that I wasn't able to sleep in, that it would be time for a feeding or that our baby would be up from her nap and need a diaper change.

Sometimes I am envious of others and their healthy babies and I feel so guilty for it. For example, yesterday we went to the Orioles game and the couple entering in front of us had a tiny baby girl with them. The ticket lady said, "Is this her first game?" When they responded with enthusiasm that it was, the lady explained how they could obtain a special certificate for her. How I long for that day!! I couldn't help but picture Caroline with us, she would have been in her first 4th of July outfit...

Sometimes when I look at her pictures I am astonished at how much she looked like her dad. When I hold the same yellow blanket in my arms that she was wrapped up in in those pictures, I know she was real, that all of this really happened to us. But there is a part of me always thinks of what happened as a dream. All of it- the memories of the pregnancy, the day the doctor told us there was no heartbeat, the labor, and the delivery- it has a dream-like haze over it, like a flashback scene from a movie. And then, I am so quickly reminded that it was not a dream because if it was I wouldn't still have this empty hole in my heart which I long to have filled.

Luckily, it is not sometimes, but all of the time that I am grateful. Through this 'storm' I have come to know Jesus more, to allow Him to hold us in the palm of his hand. It is undeniable that our faith has been strengthened. We have been surrounded by support and love that we so desperately need and for that I know we are blessed.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

8 months

How is it possible for something that happened eight months ago to still hurt so bad?

The thing I am realizing is this: with each passing month from here on out, the time that she has been gone is greater than the time that she was here. Also, this time last year I was 8 weeks pregnant. I was so excited and telling everyone! These days, I am praying to be pregnant and of course for patience to understand that when the time is right it will happen.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Steel Magnolias

This always has been one of my favorite movies. Tonight, I reminded myself so much of M'Lynn in the scene below. The thing of it is, grief is such a multi-faceted monster. You can think you are having a perfectly good day, week even, and then all of a sudden it sneaks up on you out of nowhere. Like tonight, we were at a party having a nice time and BAM! it just hit me.... I had the feeling in my gut that I am mad at the world and I needed to go home. (It didn't help that there were kids EVERYWHERE!) On the way home I said to Nick, "Sometimes I just get so MAD! I wish someone could feel how bad it hurts!" Watching all the parents at that party with their kids- showing them how to eat crabs, helping them into the moonbounce, or even lathering them with bug spray, it makes me so sad that I will never get to do any of those things with my Caroline. Lord, my prayer tonight is to soften my heart and give me peace and understanding of your plan that is so much bigger than this anger that I feel today.

M'Lynn: [crying] I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
M'Lynn: I'm fine! I can jog all the way to Texas and back, but my daughter can't! She never could! Oh God! I am so mad I don't know what to do! I wanna know why! I wanna know *why* Shelby's life is over! I wanna know how that baby will *ever* know how wonderful his mother was! Will he *ever* know what she went through for him! Oh *God* I wanna know *why*? *Why*? Lord, I wish I could understand!
[In a firm tone]
M'Lynn: No! No! No! It's not supposed to happen this way! I'm supposed to go first. I've always been ready to go first! I-I don't think I can take this! I-I don't think I can take this! I-I just wanna *hit* somebody 'til they feel as bad as I do! I just wanna *hit* something! I wanna *hit it hard*!
[continues sobbing]
Clairee: *Here*!
[Grabs Ouiser by the shoulder and positions her in front of M'Lynn]
Clairee: *Hit this*! Go ahead M'Lynn, *slap her*!
Ouiser Boudreaux: [Taken aback and confused] Are you crazy?
Clairee: *Hit her*!
Ouiser Boudreaux: *Are you high, Clairee*?
Ouiser Boudreaux: [In a frightened tone] Clairee, have you lost your mind?
Clairee: We'll sell t-shirts sayin' "I SLAPPED OUISER BOUDREAUX!" Hit her!
Annelle: [in a scared tone] Ms. Clairee, enoough!
Clairee: Ouiser, this is your chance to do something for your fellow man! Knock her lights out, M'Lynn!
Ouiser Boudreaux: [snatches away] Let go o' me!

Billboards from God

Click here to see more of these. They really are funny!

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

In Times Of Crisis, We Find One Another

From Our Daily Bread, 10 Reasons to Believe in a God who Allows Suffering

"No one would choose pain and suffering. But when there is no choice, there remains some consolation. Natural disasters and times of crisis have a way of bringing us together. Hurricanes, fires, earthquakes, riots, illnesses, and accidents all have a way of bringing us to our senses. Suddenly we remember our own mortality and that people are more important than things. We remember that we do need one another and that, above all, we need God. Each time we discover God's comfort in our own suffering, our capacity to help others is increased. This is what the apostle Paul had in mind when he wrote, "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God" ( 2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Baby John

We are so happy to welcome the newest addition to our family!
Nick's cousin, John, and his wife Jessica (yes there are 2 Jessica Klugs)had a baby boy on Tuesday evening, May 27th. Baby John was in the NICU for a few days being treated for an infection, but thankfully is now home with Mommy and Daddy. Please pray for continued healing (and some sleep for the new parents:)
We love you Baby John!

Tuesday, May 27, 2008


In this post I mentioned two baby girls named Reese.
Baby Reese is 2 weeks old and she is in need of a heart transplant. Her parents, Jim and Tara, need prayers for strength as they face this difficult time. Please pray that this baby will receive that gift of life. Here is a post that discusses how to do just that.

The second baby, also Reese, has been brought home to Maryland!!! Hoping to meet her soon:)

Sunday, May 25, 2008

The Brown Star Story

Not long ago, astronomers found in the heavens gaseous celestial bodies--clouds of cosmic dust-- which they think have finally answered the mystery of what exists between the small things in the universe, like the planets, and the bigger things, like the sun. They call this cosmic dust "brown dwarfs" or "pre-stars", because although brown dwarfs have all the elements to become stars, for some reason they never did.

All stars go on to live full lives, from their hot, bright white dwarf stage to their aged cooler and dimmer red giant sage. But "brown stars" only go so far. Instead of being born to live a normal star's life, they remain cool and dim, hiding in the heavens, sprinkled in clusters among the other stars 150 light years from Earth.

But, like our babies, their roles in the universe are very important. In fact, scientists believe they serve as a link between the small things and the big things, holding the universe together: a mid-point between the beginning and ending of our universal story.

As we grieve for our babies who died before reaching stardom of their earthly lives, perhaps we can find comfort in the possibility that they were designated for this very special universal role. Energized by our love, they are guardians of our memories of what was and our dreams of what some day may be.

As we look to the heavens, seeking answers, we send messages of love to our "brown star" babies.

~Kim Steffgan

Don't Worry

Matthew 6:34 NIV
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Another version- from "The Message"
"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes."

This was the message in church today... I needed it big time.

It reminded me of this quote:
“Worry is like a rocking chair--it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.”

Friday, May 23, 2008


Do you ever get to the point where you literally throw your head back and lift your hands and say, "Why God?!, WHY!!??" That was me today. I sometimes feel like I cannot take ANYMORE bad news. First, the story of the family in my last post has been haunting me... It is such a horrible story. Then, today an awful accident on Rt. 97 involved parents of a student at Rippling Woods, the school I taught at for 8 years and the school Nick still teaches at. The victim was nine months pregnant and she and her baby both died as a result of the accident. Her surviving children are 8 and 9. uncle fell off of a ladder and had to be flown to shock trauma. He is suffering from many broken bones, including a broken pelvis. We know it could have been much worse and are grateful that it wasn't, but pray for him as he has many weeks of healing to come.
And so at a time like this, why is it that the only thing I can keep running through my head is this song:

Forever God is faithful
Forever God is strong
Forever God is with us

Coincidence? Probably not. I mean it really is STUCK in there. I even went on YouTube to watch the video to see if that would get it out, but nope... still there.

People have often said to me, regarding losing Caroline, "How do you turn to God when most people would turn away?" Granted, I do get mad, frustrated and even pissed off! BUT, I always try to remember that it could be SO much worse. Turning to God is the ONLY choice. Luckily, you CAN be mad at God and still be in a relationship with him. We are blessed because he loves us anyways...I learned that the hard way.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Prayer Request

Please get on your knees and pray for this family....
Maria (on her daddy's lap in the photo above) was the youngest of their three adopted children.

Steven Curtis Chapman's daughter killed by car in driveway

Staff Writers

Steven Curtis Chapman’s youngest child died Wednesday evening after being struck by a car driven by her teenage brother in the driveway of the family’s Williamson County home.

Maria, one of the Christian singer’s six children, was taken by LifeFlight to Vanderbilt Hospital, which confirmed the death, according to Laura McPherson, a spokeswoman for the Tennessee Highway Patrol.

The 5-year-old was hit by an SUV driven by her teenage brother, she said. Police did not give the driver’s name.

The teen was driving a Toyota Land Cruiser down the driveway of the rural home at about 5:30 p.m. and several children were playing in the area, McPherson said. He did not see Maria in the driveway before the vehicle struck her, she said.

“It appears to be a terrible accident,’’ McPherson said.

No charges are expected, she said. The accident was witnessed by two other children; the entire family was home at the time, McPherson said.

Singer/songwriter Chapman, who recently was inducted into Music City Walk of Fame, is one of contemporary Christian music’s most recognizable and most awarded names.

He and his wife Mary Beth have long been supporters of international adoption, having brought three girls from China into their family. Maria was the youngest.
The couple is so active in the cause that they formed an organization, Shaohannah’s Hope, to aid families wanting to adopt.

With his latest music tour, which came through Nashville in November, Chapman started a campaign called “Change for Orphans”. He asked audience members at each stop to bring spare change to the concert, where it was counted and given to a local family to aid in their adoption process.

“I don’t know of anybody who loves his children more than he does and is so committed to the adoption concept, and to lose one, no matter what the circumstances, is heartbreaking beyond all comprehension,” said John Styll, president of the Nashville-based Gospel Music Association.

“He talks about his kids all the time. That’s his life. His kids are more important to him than music, that’s for sure.”

The tragedy was announced during Wednesday-night services at Harpeth Hills Church of Christ, which the family attends. Maria had just graduated from the church preschool.

And word spread throughout the tight-knit Christian music community on Wednesday evening.

Styll got the news not long after Maria’s death.

“I’m confident I can speak for everyone in the community to say we will do everything we can to support this family, as we would do at any time, but especially at a time like this,” he said.

Most of the Chapman family was at Vanderbilt children’s hospital after the accident and could not be contacted. The long, gravel driveway leading to the home west of Franklin was blocked off by Williamson County sheriff’s deputies.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

It's all about choice

Found this poem in the blogosphere and thought it needed to be posted.

You can shed tears that she is gone
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her and only that she's gone
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
or you can do what she'd want: smile, open your eyes, love, and go on.

Oprah had a show on OCD and one of the women suffering from it said she believed it stemmed from losing her twin sister at age 4. She said that she felt guilty for going on living when her sister couldn't. I had never thought about it like that. People always ask me questions like: How do you do it? How do you get up everyday? How do you keep on smiling? For one, it isn't me.. it is the big man upstairs who truly allows me to keep truckin' and 'get by' everyday:).... But, the bottom line is that I have no choice but to keep on living, especially because she didn't. Don't get me wrong, having your child die is a terrible and life-altering experience... really it is a nightmare. There are no words to really explain the loss and pain we have experienced. Many people, thankfully, will never know that kind of pain... but then again, many will. Everyone has their own struggles. Many people go thru MUCH worse than I have. I cannot help but compare myself with all of the other 'bloggers' that I have 'met' out there. As much as I try to be positive, it is just NOT fair. Why do we get to spend our whole life branded as the mommies of angels? I know that one day I will 'get' the grand plan.. but sometimes it just plain sucks.

Friday, May 16, 2008

You Get Me

So a few posts ago I said only other moms that had been through this really 'get me' and then.... I heard this on the radio.
(pause the music player at the bottom of the screen to listen to this...)

You Get Me

Wonderful is what I percieved this life would be
Pain and problem free
But over time I found reality
And through it all I see
That You're the only One who gets me

I may be misunderstood `cause I wouldn't ever fake it
You're the only One who understands my pain
`Cause You get me
Doesn't matter what they do, what they think, what they say
At the end of the day I'm okay, anyway
`Cause Lord, You get me

No more tears
It's a silent night
You've broken down all fear
`Cause You've invaded all of me
You know me better than I know myself
The key to my security
There is no one else who gets me


I don't care what the world may say
I hear You call me by name
And I reach for You, reach for You
There is nothing that I'd rather do
Than just worship You, Lord
I'm gonna worship You, worship You

I'm okay, I'm okay
I'm okay, I'm okay


You understand me so completely
Now I am free, Lord, You get me

Sunday, May 11, 2008

2 Prayer Requests

Please pray for Baby Reese and the parents, Jim and Tara. This couple goes to our church and our pastor announced this morning that Baby Reese went into cardiac arrest after delivery yesterday. Please lift them up in prayer.

Please pray for our friends, Beth and Bill, as they flew to Florida this morning to adopt their daughter, also Reese, who was born last night. We ask for prayers that the adoption will go smoothly and they will be blessed to bring her home soon.

Misery Loves Company

You know those expressions- "You don't know how a person feels until you are in their shoes." I try really hard to remember that I don't know how it feels to be the person talking to me about my loss. Really, I don't know how I would feel or what I would say if I had never been here and was talking to someone who is "in my shoes". I know that people have good intentions and while they mean well... they truly don't know how it feels unless you have been there. People say dumb things. Last week someone said to me, "So isn't there anything they can do next time to prevent that from happening again?" Hello- If it WAS preventable the last time don't ya think they would have indeed prevented it!? If I had a dime for everytime someone has said one of the following things to me/us, I would be a millionaire.
"You guys are young and you will have more kids..."
"at least you know you can get pregnant..."
"everything happens for a reason"
"you have a little angel looking down on you now..."

So on this day, Mother's Day, I believe my emotions can only be understood by those mothers who have stories that look somehow like mine. Only they really get it. So to Emily, Boothe, Hannah, Angie, Molly, Chrissy
I know that you, like me, are missing your little one on this mother's day. You are in my prayers on this day and please know that I am grateful to each of you for sharing your pain, your story, and your faith with me. Knowing someone 'gets me' in all of this, that someone shares the same emotions I have makes me feel a lot less alone, and a lot less crazy too.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Mother's Day

The day isn't even here yet, and I am already feeling the anxiety of it...
My wonderful husband sensed it was coming too and already gave me the most beautiful card and gift. My mom and best friend Kristen have also acknowledged the day with sweet cards. I know I am a mother, I know I have a daughter, but what I also know is that it stinks that she is not here...

Monday, May 5, 2008

And a few more...

and to think I was worried I didn't take any pics... thanks everyone who did!

More Great Pics...from a Great Day