Sunday, January 27, 2008

Words from Daddy

Nick spoke these heartfelt words tonight at Caroline's Memorial.

"For those of you that did not get a chance to meet Caroline, let me tell you that she was the smallest bundle of so much happiness as well as sadness sent immediately to heaven. Less than 2 pounds and 12 inches long, Caroline lied still in my arms without a heartbeat and without a breath. However, there was something mysteriously and silently beautiful about her. She had her Daddy's ears and lips and her Mommy's nose and toes. She was a wonderful symbol of her parents and the definition of an ANGEL. I used to see angels as wearing white, with wings on their back and donning a halo on their heads. Now, when I think of angels, the only thing I see is our sweet baby Caroline. Why couldn't she stay with us? Why was her life never able to begin? Only God has the answers to these questions. But, if I had to give an answer to these questions I would say that she was sent to heaven to watch over us all and to be with loved ones who have already entered the Pearly Gates.
A lot of times I find myself wondering, what is she doing right now? Sometimes I like to thing she's bouncing on the great big knee of great-grandpa George Klug making him laugh and smile from ear to ear. Maybe she is cuddled up with her other great grandparents, like Mr. and Mrs. Lee Ditmars, or Great Grandpa Keller. I like to think she is connecting them to me because I never had the pleasure of meeting them. Or maybe... now this is a stretch...but just maybe, she is already enrolled in an early-childhood development program and knows her letters A through E of the alphabet. That would make any family, especially one filled with educators, proud!

Regardless of what Caroline is doing now, she is truly missed. She will be in our hearts forever and will never be forgotten. Today we celebrate her short life and we embrace the lessons that she has taught us. Lessons like, LIFE IS PRECIOUS and LIFE HAS NO GUARANTEES.

If I could see my daughter just once more.... I would say...
Caroline, I LOVE YOU!"

We also sung this song and the words are so perfect.

Hymn of Promise
In the bulb there is a flower; in the seed, an apple tree;
In cocoons, a hidden promise: butterflies will soon be free!
In the cold and snow of winter there’s a spring that waits to be,
Unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.

There’s a song in every silence, seeking word and melody;
There’s a dawn in every darkness, bringing hope to you and me.
From the past will come the future; what it holds, a mystery,
Unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.

In our end is our beginning; in our time, infinity;
In our doubt there is believing; in our life, eternity,
In our death, a resurrection; at the last, a victory,
Unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.


Carrie said...

Nick and Jessica,

Thank you so much for letting us share in Caroline's memorial service today. It meant alot to us both to be able to be there for you. Nick - your words were so touching.

We told Pacey that we saw you both and that Nick asked "How's Pacey-Steak" she giggled. Eric told her that we would be getting together with you all soon for dinner and she was "so excited!"

Love you both,

Ann said...

I was searching online tonight for a poem called a Pair of Shoes and I found your blog. I read a bit, I hope you do not mind.
I just wanted to let you know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I am also praying for your little Caroline.
I am also the mother of an angel, and although this may be out of my bounds to offer this, I am a member of a great group of ladies on a board at It is a board of women who have suffered miscarriages or infant loss. The link is and I invite you to stop by. These women have offered tremendous support to me and we'd love to do the same for you.

I hope every day brings more peace and healing for you.

(I'm also a teacher, so I can relate to some of that stuff too!)