Wednesday, October 29, 2008

It's a..........

BOY!




This was the best day in a long time!!! Today we found we are having a baby boy!
Our sonogram technician was fabulous and took lots of measurements and great photos for us. I am currently measuring 18 weeks and 5 days, just a little ahead my 'real' timeline of 18 weeks and 0 days. As of today's sonogram, my due date would be 3/27 instead of 4/1. As we all know, this little guy will be coming when he is ready so I am not going to obsess over which date is really my due date. He had a heartbeat of 128BPM and was weighing in at 9 ounces!!! Thank you for your continued prayers and support!!!!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Upcoming Documentary for Broadcast in Canada

Sheona McDonald recently finished a documentary film called "Capturing A Short Life".
It will broadcast on CBC Newsworld, The Lens, on December 9th, 2008 at 10pm.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Couldn't have said it better myself....

My sweet, sweet friend, Emily, sent me this today. Won't you say it with me on Caroline's birthday? More later... Jess

Dear Lord,

I pray you let this day be gentle to Jessica's heart. I pray sweet Caroline be able to look down and see her parents today, on her very first birthday. Oh God, we do not understand your ways... and yet we trust them. We praise you for this beautiful baby girl and the incredible legacy she left behind. We pray you continue to use her life and her story to draw others to you. Oh Lord, be with her baby sister or brother today. Let him or her remind Jessica that hope awaits and it rests in your hand. Thank you, Lord, for Caroline Klug and all she brought to our world.

And thank you, sweet Caroline, for living your life so well and for helping to make your mommy as special as she is. We praise God for you today, Birthday Girl.

Amen.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Live For Today

I have heard this song many times before but tonight it really spoke to my heart!
I loved the song "This little light of mine..." when I was little so I guess this is my grown up version.

Natalie Grant~ Live For Today

Sittin' in my room staring at the wall
Wonderin' about the meaning of it all
Why is it this thing called life
Has got me goin' crazy
So I open up your word and let it speak to me
The purpose and the plan that you've designed
Is clear to see, and I believe

I'm gonna live for today
I'm gonna follow in your way
I'm gonna let my little light shine
Like there's no tomorrow
I won't worry about the past
I know my future is intact
So I'll choose to live my life one way
I'm gonna live it for today

You told me not to worry
About what lies ahead
So I am gonna focus on today instead
Making every moment count and counting
Every single blessing
I'm gonna set my mind on the
Here and the Now
This is what I want my life to be about
And this is How...

I'm gonna live for today
I'm gonna follow in your way
I'm gonna let my little light shine
Like there's no tomorrow
I won't worry about the past
I know my future is intact
So I'll choose to live my life one way
I'm gonna live it for today


Click if you want to hear the song...

Monday, October 20, 2008

Remembrance Ceremony

My mom and I attended a Remembrance Ceremony yesterday at Camp Letts in Edgewater. It was a really beautiful day and quite a touching gathering. The nurse, Ann, that I was blessed with at the hospital facilitated this special day and is truly an angel. She heads up the infant loss program at the hospital and runs a support group. While it was sad to meet so many other 'angel moms' it also was a comforting reminder that we are not in this alone. As Ann says.. although this is a club you never wanted to belong to, once you are in it, you are in it for life. It does help to meet other 'members' of the club.
Here are a few photos from the day... On the way to the ceremony I noticed this truck in front of us had a huge sticker in the upper right hand corner. It said CAROLINE! I tried to snap a picture but we were moving and mom's windshield was a little dirty;)so you cannot really see it. Of course, I had to investigate that I really did see it so here is what I found when I googled it!

As the names of our babies were read, we tossed flowers into the water.
Everyone wrote messages to their babies on these balloons and we released them.
A beautiful day...
"Forever in Our Hearts"
Forever in our hearts
You will always be,
Forever in our hearts
A living memory.
Forever in our hearts
You live eternally,
Forever in our hearts
God's place of destiny.

From the heart of Annie Owen

video

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Scrapbooking your Loss

I went to a Scrapbooking Weekend this weekend at Black Rock Resort and would highly recommend this place! It is right outside of Lancaster and very relaxing!
My new friend, Lori, shared this website with me and it really helped me with my Scrapbook for Caroline.
Click here.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Woa... Belly!

15 weeks and counting.....




*Please note that I did take this picture after a BIG meal at my Auntie's house! LOL

Monday, October 6, 2008

It's October.....

...and I am anxiously anticpating the day. In 2 1/2 weeks it will be October 23rd, again, the day I delivered my sweet girl, born asleep. As I look back at the past year I realize:
#1 how fast it has gone by
#2 how much of that time I have wished away

I remember those first days after we found out we had 'lost' the baby. They dragged on like years. Finding out on a Friday and not delivering until Monday made for the longest weekend of my life. I wanted to 'fill the time' with anything but tears. When I look back to the months that followed, my mind is in a sense... simply blank. What did I do with all that time? Did Christmas even happen? I think I was in auto-pilot: get up go to work, come home, go to bed, repeat. It saddens me to think that I really haven't enjoyed each day because I have been so anxious for the next one to come.

Then came the months when we were 'allowed' to try again. They seemed to tick by like an eternity as each month would result in a negative pregnancy test. I would think..."Ok, next month hurry up and get here so we can try again!" Once again... I was wishing away my days. When I finally became pregnant again I thought, "Ok this time I will enjoy every moment, each day will be a blessing, and I won't worry about a thing." HA! In reality, I am so anxious about something going wrong that I can hardly enjoy this pregnancy! The appointment count downs began.... I count down the days between each appointment and the days tick by again. As much as I try, really try, to embrace this pregnancy and savor each day... the truth is that I am so impatient for April to arrive that I literally cross the days off of every calendar.

So what is the moral to this story... I don't really know. I cannot change the fact that this is going to be a crappy couple of weeks or that I am a worrier by nature. So what can I change? Well... I need to accept and remember that none of this is in my hands. It is in His.

At our favorite breakfast place this past weekend, I spotted this quote on the wall.
"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present."
I guess I need to pay attention to that and be present in the present.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

NKOTB

So....I had the best time ever at the New Kids show. There is really nothing like a concert full of screaming 30+ year olds screaming for their teenage heart throbs that are now grown men!!!! I think everyone there felt like they were 15 again! It was so much fun and they really put on a great show!


How hilarious is this!?!!? This picture is from 1989!!! I cannot even believe we are wearing fanny packs!







I am pretty sure that Jordan winked at me during the show. LOL